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Topic: Advice, pleasey?

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Evildragon
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Advice, pleasey?
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I need some advice from my fellow NWE friends about a situation that happened last night. I've been asking a few people and keep getting varying answers, so I need your help. It's not too bad, I promise. Just some details and storytime. :P So, bare with me, might be long:

Okay, so I went to this mini-party/get together thing with my closest friends and whatnot. We were all having this good time, when one of the guys decided to invite 2 old highschool friends (it's been about 3/4 years) since they hadn't seen each other in a long time. Okay, the more the merrier.

Well, things were going fine but this one of them, I'll say his name is Tom, is drunk and on some kind of drugs at this time. So, everyone is getting pissed at him cause he was being irritating. Then, I'm sitting on my best friend's lap with our other closer friend laying on both of us. He comes up to me and starts hitting on me, okay, whatever, it was just annoying me. So, my best friend is telling him that I'm taken. He still persists, so she pretends that we're dating so she holds my hand and clings onto to me. It really wasn't that believable, but okay.

So, we had to leave to be D.D's for someone, the group split up to go out to eat. Move forward in time. My friend had to quickly go somewhere, so we went back to the house. Now, Tom comes back to the house and at this point, I didn't want to deal with him. He goes on like, "Oh, your so cute. You got a cute face, a cute body. Yadda yadda." My one friend interjects by telling him that I've got a boyfriend and to back off. Tom gets all pissed off and goes on about how "He doesn't care, he'd beat the sh*t out of him. And I would leave my bf for him because he's cuter and because he would be fighting for me."

Now, I'm pissed off. There isn't much to piss me off, but that just really got to me ontop of every other drama that happened that night. I had to turn away and didn't want to create a scene. My best guy friend ends up standing up for me and whatnot and then Tom left. And everyone agreed to never bring him over/see him again.

Now. Here's were I need help. Do I tell my boyfriend this incident?

I tell my boyfriend everything, especially things that piss me off. However, due to the condition that he's away on deployment. He's stressed out and gets kind of protective over me while away, so I know he would want to see this kid starting stuff/pissing me off. In which case, he might just want to beat him up. So, that's one reason I don't want to tell him and because the situation was handled.

But, because I do tell him everything. I would feel bad that I didn't and when he comes home and we hang out with my friends, I'm sure they'll bring it up and I don't want him finding out that way. And knowing me, I have a pretty open mouth so I'm sure it'd slip out. :P

Ughhhh, so complicated.



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Evildragon
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...And I just realized how long that post ended up becoming. :x
If any of you guys read and reply to this, I will give you guys virtual cookies for listening to me and my issues. Lol

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Royzoren
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Quite a conundrum!!! But similar situations have happened on my side also.

Look "Ignorance is Bliss" does not work. Trust me on this. What will end up happening is everything will be fine until it accidently gets let out at a function amongst friends. By then your bf will take into account one main thing: Why did she hide it? You'll tell him why (obviously lol) but what he may do is either: 1)believe your reason and drop the matter (which by the sounds of it you dont see as being likely),2) he may believe something more has happened (which considering you hid it will make him even more suss) or 3) accept what happened and get mad and want to pound the guy (scenario most likely I believe). I stress that though the 3 reaction is the most likely, you should be able to at least quell the anger by making some smart moves.

Smart move 1= Don't tell him who the person is until he agrees to not do anything. If he changes his mind after, then remind him that he is breaking an oath and that is obviously bad!! ( teehee)
Smart move 2= Tell him at the soonest possible moment, dont wait for ages deciding!!
Smart move 3= Make it a point to tell him that this guy has now been shunned by your friends because of his action

I hope I dont sound like im telling you what to do, just trying to outline some strong points that I reckon are important.
Like I said you could refuse to tell him, but this was noticed by tons of people, and the chance of it coming out is high.
Plus you may feel guilt about it if you keep it in too long, you say you tell each other everything, but to keep this to yourself prob not good.

Well thats my two cents I hope it goes well whatever you choose!!!!

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Evildragon
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Omg, thank you. That was actually really good advice so far and quite accurate on reactions and everything. 

Smart Move wise: I don't plan on giving names, besides, I only know his first name. The thing is, I'm sure he'll go to my other friends to find out what his full name is. Yeah, I'm waiting to tell him the next time I'm able to chat with him, which might not be until the new years, unfortunetly. :P And I'll defininetly stress the last smart move and that people were helping me deal with this situation.

Though, I think sometimes He talks more than acts on it when it comes to his anger. But, I just wouldn't want to take the chances, cause I hate, hate, drama and starting stuff.



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Royzoren
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Might also be wise to mention that this guy was acting on alcohol and drugs, but dont sugarcoat too much, Alcohol especially, I have NEVER found to be an excuse of someones actions in terms of violence.
The thing that you want to do is "Inform" your bf not "get his help on the matter" thats the big thing that you need to try and preach to him.

I'm glad I could help

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Munsteh
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Although this situation seems to be determine already, I'd like to pitch in that when my bf and I broke up for about two - three months or so, I became a pathetic depressed uncaring biatch and had sex with some guy. Well, goes to show me and my original love got back together, and before we even got bac together I told him everythi g that happened, and it crushed him. But, he was very very happy that I don't hide things from him and although it led to numerous fights it's not as serious as your incident. Point is, I didn't hide anything and I faced the consequences, but now we are such a close pair I'm proud of everything. Tell him, it's worth it. Show him that no matter how far away he is, he still matters. Don't tell him right when he gets off the plane, lol, but, you'll know when the time is right. And in the end, although it may be rough, it will all come together, besides, everything happens for a reason, maybe this will improve his trust for you :)

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Royzoren
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there is truth in that!!! A whole lot of truth

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Shomei
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Dude. Zorro! Why the heck are you so good at problem solving?!? XD That advice is like....better than what I could have given! XD

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Kenpachiicon_zps68a071b1.gif I'm not done with these yet, but after I make my wolves, I can make yours, 1 PP for 5 wolves, if that sounds fair.

  
Royzoren
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Ha ha ha umm i dun know, I guess I can analyse it well

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Evildragon
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Update on the situation. I did tell him, he wasn't all that made. Though, he does want to accept this kid's challenge and find out his last name through my friends. However, no one knows his last name. So, I'm sure he will just need some time to ease out and let it slip his mind.

But, thank you all of you for this advice. You guys are really good. :)

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Munsteh
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Good to hear it all went well. I knew it would. :) Yay Evilll



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Royzoren
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Good work

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Shomei
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Lmao. Thanks to Zorro over here...

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Kenpachiicon_zps68a071b1.gif I'm not done with these yet, but after I make my wolves, I can make yours, 1 PP for 5 wolves, if that sounds fair.

  
KammiWehrwulf
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Good work Roy! haha :D

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Royzoren
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Ha ha ha thanks, I just gave a little advice, nothing too serious!!!

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..."Only in death, does duty end"...

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